


Tangled Webs

by ChloeWinchester



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Guns, false reality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-11
Updated: 2015-03-11
Packaged: 2018-03-17 09:06:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3523547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChloeWinchester/pseuds/ChloeWinchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha wakes to a surprise guest in her bedroom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tangled Webs

“Natalia.”

The voice was soft, just the barest whisper in the dark of her room.

Natasha sat up immediately, looking around to be sure she hadn’t imagined it. She had one hand clenching a gun under her pillow, expression blank, lost in Warrior Mode and she wouldn’t come out unless she had a definite understanding that she had, once again, imagined James was here with her.

The room was dark, and empty, or so she thought until the street light’s glare through the window caught the wet of a set of eyes in the corner.

She froze, trying to make out the shape completely in the dark.

“James?”

The stubble on his face had turned into an all-out beard, his clothes and hair dirty, eyes more tired than she’d ever seen them.

He shifted uncomfortably in the corner of the room he’d snuck into, the window to the fire escape gaping open and sending a chill through the room. She shivered.

“James, are...is that really you?” She asked, letting go of the gun and creeping closer to him. No suddenness, no jerking motions, no running to him and wrapping herself around him and swearing he wouldn’t ever be out of her sight again like she wanted him to be.

He looked back at her, taking a step into the light. “Yeah,” he mumbled.

She stared at him in awe, her eyes wide and slowly filling with tears. She’d choked him. She’d shot at him, she’d...she’d tried to… “I’m sorry,” she breathed out, gripping the sheets in her hand where she was seated on the edge of the bed, looking at him.

He didn’t say anything. He slowly crept closer to her, taking the hat off his head. “I...I remembered,” he said softly, jaw clenched. “You. And...and Steve. I can’t see him, not yet, I can’t but you understand. I needed to-” He swallowed and looked at her.

“Come here, tiger,” she whispered, voice breaking apart.

He hugged her waist, falling to his knees to do it and squeezed. The metal of his arm was cold against her sleep-warmed skin and it pinched with the vice he had on her but she welcomed it. She welcomed any sting that he brought with him. At least she was feeling something when he was close, something that wasn’t the cold glare of someone that wanted to kill her.

She should have said his name, like Steve did. She should have tried harder instead of running from how she felt and how hurt she was she should have been there for him like she used to, instead of being afraid of what might happen if she failed again.

It would kill her. Losing him again would absolutely kill her.

She hugged him back, hiding her face in his dirty hair.

He smelled like outside, like the wind, and he felt cold. She lifted his chin, holding his face in both hands and thumbing away dirt from his face.

“Sorry I woke you,” he mumbled. She shook her head.

“I don’t sleep well anyway.” Nightmares, so many nightmares, all of them cryotubes either empty or filled with James or Clint and then they’d come out and chase her and tell her all of the things she’s ever done to hurt them and why she had to die because of it. She took a shaky deep breath, her lips pursed.

“How about we take a shower?” She whispered.

He turned his icy blue eyes up to hers, bloodshot and tired as they were, and nodded.

~*~

Steam curled around their wet bodies, James’ hair in his face as he leaned down to kiss her. She held the back of his neck, her other hand on his chest.

Both of his hands were on her waist, pressing into her flesh carefully.

She memorized how his lips tasted, how his skin felt under her mouth, how he cooed when she sucked a certain spot behind his ear. He felt just like she remembered, if not a little more sure than before.

She looked up at him, at the presence in his eyes at the care there. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. She pushed his hair back, carding fingers through it. God, it was so long.

“Why? For what?” She asked, voice strained. He got that sad, lost puppy look on his face and her insides twisted.

“I tried to kill you. I didn’t even know why I wanted to. I told the others I’d take care of you myself and… I almost did, Natalia. But-but I didn’t want you dead, I just knew I needed to be near you. And I didn’t want anyone to touch you. I shot at you because-”

She pressed her first two fingers to his lips, shaking her head. “It’s okay,” she promised. “It’s going to be alright. Everything is going to be alright. You’re here now, and that’s behind us. And if you remember right, I was trying to kill you too.”

“After I attacked you-”

“I’m not splitting hairs with you, James,” she whispered, voice firm. “It’s done. We...we don’t have to hurt each other anymore. No one’s going to make you do that. And you can...can be with Steve-”

“I’m not ready for that,” he grunted, shaking his head. “He wants me to be Bucky. He wants me to be someone he knows but I don’t. I don’t want him to look at me like that again, I’m not ready for that.”

Her brow pinched. “Then why’d you find me?” She whispered. He cupped her neck, shutting his eyes and pressing their foreheads together.

“Потому что вы знаете эту версию мне.Мне, что я являюсь сейчас.” He kissed her tenderly, eyes wet. “You don’t expect me to be someone else.”

“So don’t tell Steve you’re here yet,” she murmured, lips red from where his stubble had scraped her mouth. He nodded once.

They were kissing again, catching each others mouths with soap and hot water running down their skin, soft touches, gentle whispers in Russian and English. Natasha hadn’t felt this  at peace in such a long time.

“I missed you,” she breathed against his mouth.

He smiled, just a little. “I missed you more.”

Finally the hot water ran out and they had to get out.

Natasha dried off and tried to scrounge something up that he could wear, something she borrowed from Clint but he wouldn’t mind so long as the only holes in anything were from him and not a stranger.

James was here with her, James was going to stay with her and sleep beside her and maybe the both of them would get a decent night’s sleep for once. She smiled, knowing tomorrow she would wake up and he’d be right there with the sun on his hair.

It was going to be good. And honestly, they both deserved some good for once.

James came out of the bathroom clean shaven with his hair pulled back, towel forgotten and she wouldn’t dream of scorning him for that.

She beckoned him closer and hugged him. It wasn’t a sensual embrace, but a caring one, a protective vice on his body to keep him near, like she was scared something was going to happen and take him away again.

He pulled back with a reassuring smile and kissed her lightly. “I’m not going anywhere, Natalia,” he promised.

“What if you do?” She asked, eyes pleading. “What if you leave again?”

“You’ll find me. Always do, don’t you?”

She nodded, hugging him again. She could hear his heart, she could feel the warmth in his skin.

“James…” She looked up at him. “I...I love you.”

He pressed his forehead to hers, so relieved, so taken with her. He gave another tiny little smile. “Natalia...I love you t-”

The apartment started to shake. People pounded on the door, screaming in Russian, the whole street shaking with the force of whatever was coming.

She clung tight to him, shaking her head. “I won’t let them take you!” She exclaimed, looking up at him and-

The mask was on. The goggles were on, his uniform was back in place and there was a gun pressed against her forehead.

“N-no,” she whimpered, everything crumbling around her, tears sliding down her face. “No, James, come back to me, come back!”

“There is no James anymore.”

BANG!

~*~

She sat up with a scream, reaching into the air of her dark, empty bedroom. Alone.

She trembled, turning on the light and trying so hard to find him.

“No,” she whimpered, touching her head to feel for the bullet. “No, no, no, James, come back,” she gasped. “Come back, please. Please!”

She fell onto the bed, thrashing and cursing and screaming. She chucked her pillow across the room, filling it with every bullet in the gun under her pillow and emptying it before the destroyed thing hit the ground.

She sobbed hard, her arms aching to hold or be held and she swore she could still smell the shampoo in his soft hair and feel his freshly washed skin. She cried into where her pillow had been, dropping the gun on the floor and holding tight to the other thing she kept under her pillow.

His dog tags.

She held them to her chest as she wept, too lost in her pain to see the eyes just outside her window, the metal hand pressed against the glass that slipped away upon seeing her so distressed.

Not good for her. Not good enough yet. Have to get better so she won’t cry.  James stalked down the road with his hood over his head, hands jammed into his pockets. He took one more look at Natalia’s window, a lump in his throat.

“Я не оставлю тебя. Не навсегда,” he whispered. He turned again and kept walking, head down, heart bleeding right along with hers.

 


End file.
